Junaid at his competition, with four layers of spray tan and all / Junaid and his Coach in his normal state performing at LDA Ball

When asked why he did it he told us: ‘I was fat and ugly’. These were his words, not mine. I’m pretty sure his mom would strongly disagree.

The fact is that my dance partner and friend Junaid decided to go for a Body Building contest… with all that comes with the package.

It is like when you look a pair of jeans with diamond buttons. It is so unachievable you simply don’t consider it seriously. When people like me, reasonably fit, with a few love handles, my honest share of cellulites and a normal body see a body builder we think “oh cool” and move the conversation to the next topic.

We see what is there but we have no idea of the lunacy behind.

I’m talking here about the competitions with no drugs. Just powders. At least that was what I saw my partner eating in all rehearsals: some powder with water, broccoli and chicken. The kind of actions they take are totally insane, If you want to know details and timetables or the processes get a trainer, here I’m just going to highlight a few of the crazy stuff I witnessed and that he told me about.

Most of it, he told a bunch of friends and me around a table, eating cake, after the competition.

First, I think the whole process takes around 7 months.

That means seven months of very hard work and some kind of crazy diet.

At the beginning there was weight to gain so every time I looked at him, he was eating. We didn’t see each other frequently, only at rehearsals, but even then, if we had 5 min of break, he had to get one of his powdery shakes, eat something from a container before and after the rehearsal.

He had to train everyday, Train is lifting heavy weights for more than an hour if I’m not mistaken. It got worse as the time went by.

Near the competition he was training twice a day on weekends. Hours and hours mornings and nights. Why? I have no idea!

After he gained weight and muscles for a few months, he then had to loose weight again. It was time to start a new diet. No sugar, and no oil at all, no fruits, what I would certainly classify as “no life”.

Our rehearsals suffered a bit, he was all the time hungry and tired. But I had to excuse him, if I was doing what he was I would have either died or killed someone by then.

I imagine a dialogue:

‘Who did she kill?’

‘Some guy on the street’

‘Why?’

‘For a bar of chocolate.’

‘WHAT?!’

‘The guy refused to give her the chocolate and was doomed!’

And if I was doing what they called dead‐lifting 190kg, I would certainly have had the power to kill someone for the chocolate!

At a certain part of the journey, they give up eating any sodium. It means salt. For a Brazilian like me that would be it. After months of training that would have made me give up for sure. If not that, it would be the water business.

There is a phase they have to drink 10 litters of water per day. Junaid told me that one of his friends was found by his girlfriend sleeping seated at the toilet so he wouldn’t have to wake every twenty minutes bursting to go.

‘How did you deal with the cravings?’ I asked my dance partner.

‘I made a list. An enormous list! Every time I had a craving I put it down on the list to eat after the competition. I got a few things crossed from the list today: cake, cheese, more cake, chocolate, more cake, cheese, ham and of course, more cake.’ He told me the at the brunch we organised for him after the competition.

One of his fellows competitors said the only thing he never craves is ice cream, because he was a recurrent body builder and after one of the competitions he devoured a bucket of four litters of ice cream and could never see the stuff again.

To do something this extreme you have to really embrace it. I’m not very good of hiding what I think so during the talk I ended up confessing that I think that underwear they use are simply atrocious.

He said he knew and since he was embracing the thing he ended up buying 3! The 3 colours they had and spent the next half hour showing us his pictures of him with the blue, the red and the black. He also had to tell us which one he was on the pictures.

You see, they go through four layers of spray tan plus something that is called slap tan and spray on cooking oil. This means you cannot recognise anyone unless you are a dentist and recognise the teeth. They are all so coloured they are completely different from their regular state. 

He told me also that during the spray tan, being his first time, he used the thong back to front or something like that. The girl at the tanning saloon found it very funny. I didn’t get the picture and certainly didn’t ask for more details! 

‘What is this slap tan?’ I asked, curious with the strange name.
‘That is how I call it. It is something that only is absorbed by the skin if it is applied with slaps. That means my friend had a hell of a time slapping me with no retribution from my part.’

‘Oh!’

From all this, my loony dance partner said he believes he can do anything he wants, anything at all. I bet he can. If all this is not a case of temporary insanity, I don’t know what it is!

Junaid in his normal state performing at LDA Ball

113 Orble Votes

Ana, Johnny, Tania at Sydney Bachata Festival 2009

One of the highlights of my Sydney International Bachata Festival 2009 was actually a pair of Zouk dances. You would think that I was dancing with Kadu or one of the best zoukers in the house, with a brilliant song and full space to turn, twist and dip, hum?

Well no. With no disrespect, he was one of the worst zoukers in the house. I don’t mean to offend him; it was simply that he wasn’t a zouker at all. He doesn’t dance zouk yet and his intention was to learn there, right in the middle of the Bachata Festival.

The best way to describe Johnny is to say he is the “I‐don’t‐care‐Johnny”. It means he dances like the world is going to end, not tomorrow, but right at the very next minute. He is a great dancer of salsa and bachata, an honest bachata lover, and has been nagging me since last year’s Brisbane festival to teach him zouk.

I was watching people dance when Johnny got me to teach him the basics. I cannot do the leading part for the sake of my life… Imagine teaching it! As a teacher I am an excellent pastry chef, which means: I have no clue.

But we kept trying; enlisting the help of a few leaders on the queue to get drinks. We were dancing on the carpet in front of the bar and we managed to get the basic-step and the eight-step. That was it, and such a victory! We had fun, laughing and trying.

He is a good learner and got the gist of it quickly, with a good body movement and no shame at all, we kept dancing a few zouks in the corridors.

Zouk is one of those styles where well done basics are more than enough… On top of dancing in the middle of people’s way (whole songs of basics) we started doing something else… I call it in my mind “the wizard dancing”.

We broke apart and started dancing one in front of the other and he started guiding me with hands and body movements, no touching. I just started following and it was a new and thrilling experience. It felt like sorcery, an enchanting time…

99 Orble Votes

No, it’s not (exactly) what you are thinking…

This is just about people who dance, perform, on stage and make love to the public, and, in a sense, their dance partners as they perform.

I love cheeky dancers, and I’ve been told I am one of them. With pride! I make an effort to be.

Great performers are those that create a special energy with the public, they are so confident with their dancing (and singing) that they interact and put their hearts out to the public.

Not always there is a love affair, usually dance partners are not romantically involved, but for the sake of Latin dancing, specially bachata, and while on stage, and shining for the few minutes their choreo is on, they have to be lovers.

They have to have the energy of lovers, completely in lust for one another, for those seconds. I draw on the energy and love I have for dancing, so the ones that show this peculiarity probably do too.

At the bachata festival I had fun spotting people like that: looking in the eyes of the public, making faces and enjoying the experience, pretending it was the love affair of the century and showing their confidence to the watchers.

I found quite a few and every single time I found myself smiling as if they were dancing for me alone…

112 Orble Votes

Ah, Performing! (sigh) I absolutely love performing.

Since I started it I cannot say exactly why. I’ve been trying to figure it out for a long time.

I love being on stage, feeling special, having all the eyes on me, who cares if I’m at the back and there are another 29 bodies performing?

It is as if it is all about me, that everyone is thinking: oh look how pointed is her left foot! 

Anyway, I feel powerful, elated!

The lights, the sounds, the music, the costumes, it all ads up to my heart beating like a rabbit’s; my hairs going up at the back of my neck.

I can’t get enough of the sensation!

I was thinking about the Sydney Salsa Congress, and I realized that performing is like doing the horizontal mambo. Specially Latin dancing. To reach a performance you start with the foreplays, you get to know your partner, how he moves, you show him (or her) your moves.

It doesn’t matter if there is no sexual tension between the two of you, even if it is all about the dancing and only about it; it is still like a date:

1. You choose the right clothes for the occasion, for dancing they are the ones that don’t slip, that won’t fall at the wrong times, with good sleeves for that choreo, preference for fabrics nice to touch and that don’t make you feel too sweaty. As in a date, you will also choose the right underwear. Girls will pay attention it doesn’t show and doesn’t disturb them to dance.
2. You will be well groomed, and pay attention about your bodily smells for sure. I love what this guy said to me the other day: dancers have no idea about personal space. So if you have someone invading yours, you will take care of your armpits and breath at their very best. I guarantee girls will shave, wax, use make up, perfume more than if they were going out with Brad Pitt. 
3. You will get all excited about the date, I mean, the training. Dancing is good. Always. Again it’s like bed acrobatics. Even when it’s bad, it’s still better than not having it, therefore, it’s good. 

Here I have to add a small alert: if you are training and not having fun, no mater if you are an amateur or professional, something is wrong. It’s time to re‐evaluate it all. Dancing is about loving it, every step of the way.

When you are starting your trainings, you will have to learn the sequence, like a good intercourse you will savour each step, each touch, each detail.

You will feel powerful for being able to do each movement, you will learn to move as one with your partner. If you love dancing, you will rejoice with every turn, you will fly in every trick, you will smile and yes, you will also complain. 

Any type of congress of bodies is subjected to a lot of pain, good muscle pain. It happens often on the following day, getting worse on the following of the following day.

A few mishaps, even a fall here and there is expected. The accidental arm that connects where it shouldn’t; accidents happen, both in the bedroom and in the training room.

The number of times you do it doesn’t affect the soreness. Having done it your whole life, doesn’t prepare you enough.

Depending on which part of the choreo you are concentrating on, you will use different muscles and feel them burning later.

It’s like using “That Book” ‐ you know which one, don’t you? The ancient one, full of interesting pictures? Well the use of the book will guarantee sore muscles on the following day.

Choreographies are bound to do the same. 

As you get closer to the performance you are doing it. It’s not foreplay anymore. You know what to do and you go for it. You use your full power, you strain every fibre of your body. You become athletic and go all the way. 

You let the feelings, emotions, love and devotions take you over.
You leave your body do what it knows to do and let your soul fly, enjoying the moment. 

If you get worried about doing something wrong, making mistakes, anxious about your partner’s performance or anything like that, you are concentrating in the wrong part of the business. Like making love, it is not about how it looks, it’s about how it feels. 

Then and only then you are in the performance. That, my friends, is the climax. Plain and full Ecstasy, with a capitol letter.

54 Orble Votes

Pre-party at my sister’s place / LDA Samba Carnaval Dancers with Amy Mills / Band at Carnaval party

Brazilian Carnaval parties are happening tonight [26 & 27 Feb 2009] in Manly and Thursday in the City.

Of course there is samba and music and the people that can dance are dancing.

Carnaval in Brazil is about loud, loud, loud music, drums, jumping, having fun, drinking, and making out.

No real dance skills are required, just a total lack of self-contiousness.

If you want to have the night of your life, you must try it out, only being there you will be able to understand how is it that a whole country, 196 million people, stop because of it for over a week.

For more information: check “One Night In Brazil”
Or take samba classes at Latin Dance Australia

See you there! 

43 Orble Votes